Cursed
by Neliel Von Schweetz
Summary: She's lost her mind, and has nothing left. Wherever she goes, death follows. She can't ever love or cherish. If she ever did, that person would be mercilessly taken away from her, like the rest. After an incident in New York, she moves to Japan, attending Ouran Academy. But when a host falls for her, will he be taken away from her, or survive this hurricane called "forbidden love"?
1. Chapter 1

A/N : Enjoy this chapter.

Chapter One : A New Resolve

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_Tap tap tap_

I walked through the halls, empty and silent. Another was dead. Another loved one lost. I am forever cursed. Never to love. Never to cherish. Never to feel. Never to be surrounded with loved ones. But forever to be alone. What purpose do I have in this world? why am I alive? only death follows wherever I go. Why must I wander this earth alone? It's cold. This loneliness is cold. I want to love. I want to cherish. I want to have feelings. I want to be surrounded with loved ones. But if I do, their fates will only lead upon death.

Outside the halls of the abandoned building, I was met with blood. The blood of the new friends I had made. I had been careless. I stared at them in horror. "Asami... Hoshiko... Suzu..." I murmured. My knees trembled. They were all wonderful friends. I had been lonely at the school I was at. I scared everyone. But those three... were the only ones who tried to become my friends. I was rude. I was cold to them. But no sooner had I expected, we had become friends. I can never love. But, no sooner had I expected, I had grew to love those three. I had been careless, and had lost control of my heart. Asami's head was cut off, her eyes still open, staring straight into mine.

Blood poured out of her body, her limbs chopped off, blood gushing all over. Her still open eyes from her detached head still stared right back at mine. My hands trembled. Breaking my gaze from her eyes, I moved them over to Hoshiko. Her body had been slit open, organs spilling. I trembled even more, and my legs were beginning to lose control. I moved my eyes over to Suzu. Her leg had been torn apart from her body, and head detached. I covered my mouth with my hand. The tears were rolling down. I fell to my knees. And cried for them. I sobbed, mourning for those wonderful three. I'll never forget them. My first friends. I had yearned for love, and look at what happens. Death.

"A-Asami... H-H-Hoshiko... S-Suzu... I... I... I'm so sorry... I n-never meant for this to happen... I... I'm sorry... I... I p-promise... I'll... never forget y-you... and I p-promise... I... I WON'T LOVE AGAIN!" I screamed. I moved my hand, and clutched the area where my heart was suppose to be. Tears were rolling down like a waterfall on my cheeks. I clutched the area more, and screamed in pain. I hate my heart... I... I hate it... I hate it... so... so much. Why... why can't I die?! Why... why do I have to suffer?! why... why can't I die?

_"Because, it's my own entertainment..." _

I turned around, and clutched myself, breathing heavily. My body trembled more to the voice. I knew I was supposed to run. But after hearing that voice, I was too afraid to run.

"Please..." I murmured, "please... let me die. Let me die... please... please, I beg you... please..."

_"No." _the voice growled, _"It's your fate. And you don't run, you brat. Accept it, and suffer."_

The voice chuckled. But that chuckle formed into hysterical laughter. I moved my hands to my ears, sobbing. Insane laughter was heard all over. I can't take it... I have to run... now. Asami... Hoshiko... Suzu... I... I'm sorry... I promise... I'll never love again. I promise you. I slowly stood up, and ran away from the building. I ran and ran. When I looked back, the black building was on fire. Fire had shadowed the black building, and within the fire was the figure of that voice._  
_

My eyes widened, adrenaline surging through my veins. I ran faster, blinking away the tears. "Asami... Hoshiko... Suzu... I'm sorry... goodbye..." I whispered, and ran away, I ran as fast as I could, and finally reached my hotel room in the Vladimier, a fancy hotel I resided in. I can't love. I can't. I'm forbidden to.

I packed all my things in two suitcases, and ran out the door. I stopped at the hotel lobby, and paid for my stay. I ran out the door. I am in New York City. It's a beautiful extravagant city, if only my smell didn't stench the place, would it truly be a magnificent city. I waved my hand out, beckoning a shiny yellow cab to come to me. I flung open the door, and put my suitcases in and got in the yellow cab as quickly as I can.

"Where to?" the driver asked.

"The airport. Get me there in an hour, and I'll give you a hundred."

At this, the driver's face brightened, and he started the engine. I immediately put on my seat belt, and clung to the handle on the top of my seat. The driver zoomed to the streets, cars honking, pedestrians yelling. I want to leave this city. I've already killed people. I've been living here for a few months. I could have lived here, if only I didn't yearn for love. Because... because of my stupid heart. I need to leave. I can't remember those memories with those three... I can't. Because of me... because of me... those three wonderful girls are dead. Dead. I shouldn't have been careless, this... is all my fault. No one wants me, no one loves me. Death is all that follows me.

Tears escaped my eyes, and the driver zoomed off, and horrendously drove, almost knocking over a car or two. I need to leave, to go somewhere else. Where I won't hurt anyone. It would have taken approximately five hours to get to the airport, but the way the driver drove, we would get there in an hour. I would have lived in solitude... but I must keep up my studies. My cruel uncle says so. I've never been loved. My uncle was the one who gave me this fate, all for the purpose of regaining wealth for his shrewd company. Money is all that matters to him. My parents died because of me... I'm never to love. My uncle still intends to let me go to school, not caring who would die because of me. Unless it was related to business.

"We're here." the driver announced. I nodded, and wiped away my tears. I took out my suitcases, and gave him a hundred. His face was filled with joy and greed, his hands reaching for that filthy money. "Thank you! have a nice day!" the driver yelled out, clutching the hundred dollars, and drove away. I clenched my teeth. And ran to the gate of the airport.

"One ticket to Tokyo, Japan, business class." I quickly said. The lady looked through her computer. "Would you like to board the plane going in twenty minutes, or the other going in two hours?" she asked. "The one boarding in twenty minutes. "Passport please." she said. I handed her my passport. She looked at me and the picture of my passport, and scanned it. "Are you albino?" she asked, gesturing to my silver hair and red eyes. "Sure." I said, and took my ticket, and ran off. I looked at my ticket. Gate 23B. I ran, and soon found it. We were boarding in ten minutes. I sat in a chair, waiting for someone to come, and board us on the plane.

It's a cold day in New York today. A bitterly cold one. A tear ran down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away. I slowly took out the mirror from my suitcase. I had long silver hair, reaching my mid-back, and crimson red eyes. Who am I? a nuisance to people, or am I a monster? I don't know. I don't know what deal my uncle made with _them._ I don't even know who they are. I wore a black headband, and red heart earrings. I was wearing a black furry jacket, a long sleeved red shirt, a white skirt reaching my knees, and knee-high black boots reaching my knees, and mittens.

Can I just ran away? to somewhere with solitude? no people? could I disobey my uncle? no... I can't. He's a fearsome man. He'd find me in a matter of days. I have never really found a home. I was constantly moving, uncle said if I made someone die, I'd go to another place. It wouldn't be good for the reporters to know his neice was a mysterious killer. But I don't want to be a killer... although... I am indirectly one. When I just got to New York, he said if someone died, I was to go to Tokyo, Japan.

_"Plane 23B boarding now, to Tokyo, Japan." _the intercom said.

I stood up, and the stewardesses boarded us onto the plane. I quickly found my seat, and sat in it. I had a window seat. The plane slowly flew up, and before I knew it, we were up in the air. I leaned back on my chair. Will Japan be different? or will it be the same. I sat in business class, and the sttewardess came up to me.

"Champagne or water?" she asked.

"Water." I said, giving her a glare. She nervously smiled, and poured water into my glass. "Please let me know if you need anything, alright?" she said. I silently glared at her, my eyes telling her to go. She nervously smiled, and walked away. The reason I can't ever love, is that I'm cursed. I don't know who cursed me. Or why I was cursed. I just know uncle made a deal. That involved money, and me. Would I ever escape this curse? would I? no, I wouldn't, I'm forever to be like this. But if it is a curse... maybe... just maybe... I can lift it. And then... death won't follow me wherever I go. I can be free. Freedom... what a sweet taste. Maybe... maybe I should lift my curse. I won't just live on this Earth as a waste of human life. I'll lift this curse. No matter what, I will lift this curse. That is my new purpose, now. I will lift this curse. And I won't kill anyone, again, ever.

A small smile curved on my lips. Even if it won't work... I'll do my best, and... I'll be free. I looked in a brochure uncle gave me. Ouran Academy. Will it be the same like before? no, I won't allow it. I swear, I won't kill anyone. I'll lift this curse, once and for all. I won't live in the dark again, but I'll be able to reside in the glorious light. That is my new resolve.

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What do you think so far? Yeah, it's cliche. I randomly got inspiration for this while watching a Korean drama... yeah... and, please vote on my poll on my profile who she should be with! Bye

- Nell

P.S. I won't be choosing who gets the most votes, but one of the top 3-5


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2 : Far Beyond Help_

_Disclaimer : I do not own Ouran High School Host Club, it's as simple as that._

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I laid in bed. I had arrived to Tokyo, Japan. I stared up at the ceiling, and the fan that hung from it. I wonder... what does it feel like to love? To be surrounded with life, to be in a perfect world. A world where pain does not exist... a world where there is no death... no anger... is it possible...? No. It isn't. Pain is a hidden secret from the world. Life is a beautiful lie. And death a painful truth. Pain demands to be felt. Pain is my only friend... my only family. Unlike all the other feelings bottled up inside, pain is not like happiness, anger, envy, or love. Pain is all alone. Pain suffers physically... and emotionally.

_"Ring... ring... ring... ring..."_

I turned my head to the side, and eyed the phone that rang in my hand. I sat up, and stared at the name that shone on the phone. It was uncle. I answered the phone. "Raven? have you arrived in Tokyo?" asked uncle in his gruff voice. I answered "Yes, yes I have. I am now in the hotel."

"I see. Who did you kill in New York?"

"I... I-I d-didn't kill anyone..." I whispered.

"Raven, we both know that's not true. You are a killer yourself. You know that, don't lie. Now, who did you-"

_"I D-DIDN'T K-KILL A-ANYONE! I... I DIDN'T! I-"_

"Young lady. Don't you dare speak to me that way. Who did-"

_"I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE...! I... didn't.. I... I'm not... I'm not... A KILLER...!" _I yelled, and immediately hung up. I breathed in and out. In and out. I'm okay... I'm okay... I'm okay. I hyperventilated, memories flowing, pain surfacing once again. No, no, I need to stop remembering. Asami... Hoshiko... Suzu... no... no... no. My hands trembled, remembering. Those faces. Those sickening smiles. That man. Mother... father... I slowly made my way to the bathroom.

No, I'm not a killer... I'm not... I'm not... I argued along with the voice inside me, and turned the knob on the sink, and splashed the cold water onto my face. No one will die. No one will. I'll lift this curse... I will. I was still hyperventilating, unable to stop. I walked back to my bed, and laid there, just thinking. I slipped into my covers, questions going through my head, and fell asleep.

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I went inside the limousine, and we drove off. Ouran Academy. My first day. I stared outside the window, girls in pale yellow dresses, giggling and chatting. I was wearing the same pale yellow dress, and it suited me quite well. We arrived in front of the academy, and the driver opened the door. I thanked him, and walked off to the academy. Eyes were glued onto me, whispering and pointing. I sighed, and walked to class.

I placed a strand of my silver hair behind my ears. I began making my way to my class; class 1-A. I'm a freshman, and I could have finished my freshman year in New York... but it's all in the past now. It's time to move on, but I'll never forget Asamu, Hoshiko, and Suzu. I quietly came in the class, and took a seat in the very back, next to a window. I looked at the clock ticking on the wall; twenty minutes until class started. I took out nonfiction novel, one about criminals and their human characteristics.

I was very interested in these kinds of things. Criminals, minds, characteristics, emotions. Finally, the bell had rung, and students began piling into the classroom. One after another, they all piled in. "Hey, what are you reading there?" peering over my shoulder was a red haired boy. "The Humane Characteristics Of Criminals?" peered another boy, exactly identical to the first, reading aloud the title. "Yes. I'm reading about criminals. Do you mind?" I politely asked. Although in translation, I was telling them "Get lost."

"Yep." the two said in unison. "Hikaru, Kaoru, can't you see she's trying to read? Leave her alone." across from us was a boy with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. It was easy to tell he was a she, because of the feminine features. "Come on, Haruhi." One of them whined. "No, just leave her alone. She's clearly annoyed." yes, yes I was. I was very annoyed. "Excuse me, but I'm going over there." I said getting up, and walked over to an empty seat in the other back corner, and resumed reading my book.

Much to my luck, the teacher had already stepped inside the classroom, and class started.

_- Lunch Time -_

I walked over to the cafeteria, ordered my meal, and headed down the hallways of Ouran Academy for a place to eat alone. I checked at all the libraries, and all were occupied. When I had opened the door, many eyes were on me, and made the situation awkward. I'm not used to being around too many people, or rather, be noticed. After spending at most 15 minutes searching, I found a place. It was an abandoned music room, and no one was occupied. The place was also rather clean. Sitting down on a chair, I begin to eat, not bothering to turn on the lights.

It's alright, to me, I've been living in darkness my entire life, so why should I even bother? I've lived a life no one will be able to bear. A life of running, hiding, killing without knowing. That's the type of person I am. An indirect killer. That's all I'll ever be. I used to... have dreams. I used to have faith. I.. I used to have hope. But that was all such a long time ago, when those things, the only things I had, were mercilessly taken away from me. Dreams turned into endless nightmares, Faith turned into being helpless. Hope... turned into a lie.

Why couldn't I have lived a different life? A life like this has no meaning. I don't know... I don't even know why I exist. I want to... I want to die. But that seems impossible, since I'm not allowed to, not until my time. Forbidden to ever love, cherish, or hold anything or anyone dear. If I ever did hold anyone dear, they would be dead in a matter of hours. Taken away, yet again. A selfish girl like me, caused the death of three young girls who deserved to live. Who deserved to have the time of their life, who deserved to live on until their time.

I... I remember that night... clear as day. I was only a toddler. Memories of that night must have plagued my mind to remember such a scene. A cold winter night, pure, white snow falling to the ground. Decaying bodies lying abound. The blazing fires of Hell engulfing a town. Ashes spread in the air, mother's shrill scream, fear spread over her face, before she was slit open, her own blood splashed on her face.

Organ after organ spilling, crimson blood coloring the snow into a dark claret. Eyes open, as the man in the shadows mercilessly slashed organ after organ, hysteric insane laughter heard all over the town. I, a mere toddler, was held by the other man, screaming, crying, sobbing, and squirming out of the man's grasp. It was no use, but the men did not seem to care if I was only a toddler. Blood had squirted onto our clothing, and I had lost all thought.

Father, beaten and thrashed by another man, slits on his body, heavy cuts, flowing streams of dark red. And had been thrown into the fire itself, with no hesitation. He was slowly engulfed by the Hellish fire, his screams calling for my mother, his pleads to the three men. A smile curved on the lips of the man, watching father's futile effort, as his screams, along with he, were engulfed into the fire, turning him into nothing but ash, as his entire being, was destroyed by my very eyes. My mind was tainted far before I ever learned to speak. I was merely two years old, as my entire town died before me. Mother was continuously being cut, as the man kissed her dead body tenderly, a sickening smile appearing. He claimed my dead mother his "broken doll"

He had then cut her head, and held her body and head, the other two men with him, me a toddler,no longer kicking, screaming, or biting. I was too stricken with fear to even function. In a blur, I remember, being taken to uncle's mansion. He was a young man, in his early twenties. Sitting on a velvet red arm-chair, near his two sides, were two women dressed in black. Uncle had worn a white suit, and a black tie. He smiled to the men, and sat up, much to his women's annoyance, and uttered unknown words to them. It wasn't actually unknown, but my toddler mind could not understand anything he said as my uncle shook the hands of the three masked men, in dark cloaks. I was then handed to uncle, my eyes still wide open, body shaking in fear.

The three masked men had disappeared, along with the dead body and head of my mother, in a flash. I don't know what they did to her body and head. Just that one of them had made her his "broken doll" thinking of the fact, I was terrified. Those horrifying memories came back, and I dropped my fork. I was then handed to one of the women in black from uncle, and the sickening smile from his lips, as the memory finally faded away. I clutched the area of my heart, as I felt it breaking into pieces once again. Strange how I'm feeling this. How can I have a broken heart, when I never had a heart in the beginning?

"Are you alright?" I nervously glanced up, to see a blonde man staring down at me, a smile spread on his lips. I must have sat here for a while, when the memories flowed in, that I didn't realize he was behind me and the lights were on. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I calmly questioned. "No you're not. If you are just fine, why are you crying?" he pointed out. Slowly raising my hand to my cheek, I felt the moisture of the tears, still raining down once more. "Oh... I'm crying..." I murmured. My lips trembled as I remembered all the other things. Everything that's happened up until now. Living seems to be like a foolish dream now. But why can't I die, when so many people wish it?

"Please, tell me what's wrong." the blonde said in a flirtatious manner. He knelt down to my knees, and reached for my hand. I immediately flinched when his finger only tapped my hand, and yanked it away from his grasp. Raising an eyebrow I said "And why would you want to help me? A person like you would be a ladies man, huh? And yet you offer me your help." although, my remark didn't help as the tears still rolled down as I desperately tried to hold on to that smirk.

I got up from my seat on the chair, and threw my meal in the nearby trashcan in the room, not bothering to eat any of it. I opened the door, and before I got out, the blonde grabbed my wrist. "Please, princess, come to the host club after school today. I'll help you." Scoffing, I yanked my hand away. "Princess? Now you're calling me a princess? and to think you're a host. Hosts entertain ladies, do they not? and why would I want you to "help" me? I'm far beyond help than you know." I retorted, and left.

_- After School -_

I waited outside the Academy. The chauffeur's late. What an annoyance. The wind flowed by, shaking dead leaves off a nearby tree. Autumn. Breathing in the cold air, a hand snatched my wrist, and pulled me away. "Stop! Stop! What do you think you're doing?!" Glancing behind me, the blonde from earlier smiled. "You're the lady in distress, right? Your prince here will now soothe your aching heart~!" He yelled out dramatically, swooning in the process. I furrowed my brows together. What in the world am I seeing right now? I yanked my wrist back away from him. "Soothe my aching heart?! Prince?! I need nothing of that. Lady in distress, please. I've had enough of such frivolous behavior." I yelled back, stomping off away. "Please take it all back!" I looked down on my leg, and surely, the man was holding on to my leg. "Ahhh! Pervert! Get off me, right now!" I glared. The blonde trembled a little, and slowly got off my leg.

I couldn't blame him. I had a menacing glare indeed. "But please, come to the host club later some day!" he yelled back. I turned around and faced him, a look of annoyance and pure hatred etched across my face. "And why would I visit your little club? Going does not benefit me. Now, please, go before I lose my temper." I said as calmly as I could. Just in that moment, the chauffeur drove by, and opened the door for me.

"I'm sorry I'm late mistress! The traffic was just-" I rose a hand up to silence him. "You were late. I don't care if it was the traffic that kept you, but if you had been smarter, you would have left earlier. Your apology is unaccepted." I said with venom, before sliding into the leather seats of the limousine. I can't ever be soft with anyone now. I can't. Ever. They'll only have more of a risk to be loved by me. And then, mercilessly taken away, like the rest.

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A/N : Guys... you still gotta vote, you know! So go on my profile, and vote for who she should be with! And I'm picking one of the top 3-5, kay? I hope you enjoyed this chapter, bye!

-Nell


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